Archive for Love

Heart Spread Say 14

Posted in Occult with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2017 by Keona-Mlh aka Beauty by LTL

This spread was one I was kind of dreading given my current love situation. But it was very deep and it reassured me I was doing everything right and there are just some things that I cannot change, and some things that I will have to understand more and just let go and take it for what it is, if this is where I really want to be.

1 fire, 1 water, 1 trump

What is the current state of my heart?

What do I need to release in order for me to heal?

What do I need to accept with unconditional love?

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This Can’t Be Right….

Posted in Love and Relationships with tags , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2016 by Keona-Mlh aka Beauty by LTL

heartbroken

 

Who else is tired of being in a relationship? Or tired of being with the wrong people? Or tired of thinking that you can do better for them…or they can do better for you? Sucks shit right.

I see what you going through, your heart is breaking, your are depressed. You are angry, but you want to just move on and push it aside. Well it isn’t always that easy. It takes and you want to feel that love again…even if it isn’t true. But all that does is makes you more susceptible to getting hurt again.

You listening to the songs, you have tears coming down your eyes, you really, really angry, you want to wish the worst on them. But was it all their fault? Was it all your fault? Were you both to blame? Most people love to think that they are perfect and it is always the other person. That isn’t true. We are always blinded to our own actions.

Except me.

I KNOW I am a bitch, and being in a relationship with me, is difficult as shit. I won’t lower my standards, you either running with me, or you by yourself. I am not picking you up, putting everything that I am , to make you great and you just keep it moving without helping back. I refuse to put 100% in when you can barely counter with 50%. I am not easy to get to, for good reason, and my level of trust for people is at 2%. SO good luck.

Aren’t you tired of being blamed for shit you didn’t do, or could have done in their mind. Aren’t you tired of the rules in a relationship? Like since you are no longer single, you can’t have friends, you can’t stay up at night and talk to really good friends, because our society treats cheating as it is the best thing in the world. That you no longer know what it means to tell the truth and be honest to people anymore. People are lying more and it has become a way of life. When you tell lies after lies, just because you can…there is a problem.

At this point in my life…I’m in my (now) later 30’s and I am really done with all relationships. They have become pointless. And marriage is a joke, did that, twice, never again. No one is worthy of what I have to bring to the table. No dude or bitch. I am tired of them both, and whatever else lies in the middle. Everyone, or actually let me be fair, a good portion of people have become shit and ruin it for others around them.

I just rather fuck who I want to fuck, talk to people when I FEEL like it. I don’t want to be bothered with texting people everyday, hell I don’t even want to talk to them either. Yeah, it is that serious. Hey they brought it one themselves, so I am just obliging.

The only thing in my life that matters, are my parents, my spiritual progress, and my academic pursuits and career. That is all that should ever matter.

People no longer want to take the time to get to know one another, to talk, go out and eat and drink and just try to see what interests that other people have, without fucking. No one wants to invest time into people for a few years to get to really know them. It is all about we click, the sex good, they cool, bet let’s move in and build a life together and pray it works out. Nope, I am not doing that you again. If you can’t make that effort for a person that you are looking to get to know then just stick with the hoes and niggas, and fuckboys or whatever else you call these losers. It is plenty of them around, but it is not a lot of good people around anymore.

In a few I won’t be good either. When I set my mind to officially do me, shit is lost forever.

Far and in between

Posted in Love and Relationships with tags , , , on January 18, 2015 by Keona-Mlh aka Beauty by LTL

It has been a long road and the New Year has started out to something that was unexpected, yet oh so wonderful and deserved. I have had the best time chilling with a new love in my life. One that I never ever expected, but isn’t that how it always is?

The unexpected blessings in life. The people in your life who really deserve to be there. The people who are lost, and who have been removed may have been a painful process, but in the end you feel better than you ever had in life.

I am on a new path to love, life and happiness. I am fulfilled mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually. I have never felt this much bliss in my life before. And I enjoy every moment that I can spend with him, and that I can spend with my family. I dont change or try to be a new me, only a better me.

One Last Kiss

Posted in Poetry... with tags , , , on January 12, 2014 by Keona-Mlh aka Beauty by LTL

I love the feel of Nylon rope.  Its thick, heavy, and it also ties beautifully. I love the wide eyes look you have when you feel the rope tighten. To watch the breath slip out of your throat, to here you gasp in desperation. Your teeth are clenching as you try to tighten your throat against my pull. But wait, I have a surprise for you. I move behind you and place a kiss on your ear, right before I bring the bag over your face and pull tight.

Making sure you are oh so uncomfortable, and in a panic, I watch your eyes as they connect with mine in the mirror. I wore that favorite dress you brought me with those high heels you like. You know, the same ones you brought her. Wasn’t expecting to see her in the bed, tied and dripping her crimson wetness on our floor. She wasn’t much fun, than again when you slit someones throat open and gut them like a fish, they don’t fight back to much. Too bad. I really enjoyed her muffled screams as I cut her throat, just enough so we can have a few minutes together. That precious time between wife and mistress. But she couldn’t take the penetration, as I cut her open from chest to that belly, of me reaching inside her body and slowly pulling her intestines out. But I took great pleasure in cracking open her rib cage and squeezing her heart till she died. Her kisses were sweet in that last moment.

I see a tear come down your face as you are slowly losing the battle to live. You should have thought better than to cheat on me. I a your wife, not a common whore. We built 20 years of love, three children and careers that are friends envy. You were greedy. You never asked me if i wanted to try something new. She would have been ours to share my love.

Suffocate. Die. Cry. Panic.

You deserve the slowest possible death that I can give you. Why? Because as my husband you only deserve the best. let me kiss you one last time. Let me feel the heat of the bag upon my warm lips.

Let me kiss you goodnight.

Bloodlust

Posted in Poetry... with tags , , , on October 10, 2013 by Keona-Mlh aka Beauty by LTL

Bloodlust

 

The nights are dark.

They wrap around me in velvet layers.

Only the tips of wings show.

I can still taste her on my lips.

The deep entrapment of sweet love is still swirling through my veins.

Walking through the night is a lovely way to meet her again.

The soft flesh which my fangs pierced.

The flood of pure sweet blood ravishing my mouth.

Trying not to spill a drop, amazed at how good it feels.

The addiction is strong.

The limpness of her body as she submits to my will.

The caress of her hands on my cloak, hanging on to my wings for dear life.

There has never been one as sweet as you.

I will find you again.

I will never let you go.

 

~Rev Keona

A Mother’s Embrace

Posted in Poetry... with tags , , , on September 19, 2013 by Keona-Mlh aka Beauty by LTL

A Mother’s Embrace

There are times when I walk with her at night. I feel her beside me. Holding me, caressing me. Making sure that I know who I am as a Woman, A Vampire, and a Child of Darkness. There are times when I never want to let her go.

I cleanse myself in Lemongrass and Sandalwood soap. I shampoo my hair, all being extremely clean and refreshed. Washing away the mundane filth of the day. I step out the shower and I do not dry. I walk straight to the altar.

I light my two black candles on the side, spark up some Dragon’s blood and Myrrh, light the 9 small tea light candles and wash myself over with s sage smudge. No one outside of Mother can get to me now. I offer blood on the glass black rose I have for her. Watching the blood fall between the unmoving petals. It comes to a point where it should drip off. But it just stays there. Holding itself. Waiting.

The circle is cast, banishing of unwanted entities are down. I proceed by calling your name. Softly at first…slowly increasing. With every formation of your name, I feel my body being wrapped by the blanket of the Succubus. I feel the demons of the night reaching up, caressing my feet, legs, thighs, butt, stomach and stopping short of my breast.

I let Lilith’s invocation spill forth from my lips. Letting the imagery drip down my chin and onto my breast. She is behind me. I feel the nails raking against my back. From above, the darkness covers my head, my eyes, my mouth, my neck, and my breast. I am fully in her embrace.

I fall into a deep trance. Dancing with Mother for what seems like an eternity. I do not want to leave. She offers me comfort in my time of need. She offers me love as a mother does. We have our fights…I am her child…and after a few punishments she explains why, and assures me, it is only for my betterment. For her I am eternally grateful. We will never leave one another. No matter the fights. She is there for me, and I her.

I sink into her chest, and watch as she engulfs my body into her world. I wake drenched in sweat. I smell of travels taken and long forgotten. A scent that is never-ending, and all welcoming. The blood on the glass rose, is now gone. There is no drop on my altar. I raise the goblet and drink to her, of her. Becoming her for an instant. I let the candles burn themselves out. Light more essence, listen to some music. And remember the parting kiss Lilitu laid upon my forehead, before I retire from my journey. A mother’s love is strong. No matter what.

~© Rev Keona

Losing the Desire

Posted in Love and Relationships with tags , , , , , on July 28, 2013 by Keona-Mlh aka Beauty by LTL

For as long as I can remember I have always loved women. I only messed with women. From like age 7 to 16. Then I met a boy and all hell broke loose. Went down the hill from there. Apparently I don’t know how to pick a good man or a decent one, and just let bullshit happen to me instead of just walking away.

As I turned 19, I realize that men are pretty much garbage and started back dating women. Those bitches where crazy. Worse than the men. But then again they were my choices. So I dated both and just tried to see what’s going on. Most females I wanted to be with pretty much only wanted to play and go back to their man. I, on the other hand was looking for a relationship. I swear women are crazy you know.

At 25 I started losing the desire for men. It would be more of a back and forth. Some years dating both, some years dating one or the other.

Now that I’m 32 I know I am looking for females to be with for life. Which is utterly difficult because I’m poly and they just don’t understand what it means. I have two men in my life. A husband and a boyfriend. That’s more than enough dick and I’m kinda bored with it. I have a female friend, but she seems like the rest, more interested in dudes than a feminine relationship. So my boyfriend told me to go out and date. See if there is a female out there who excepts me for me and my life choices. I have a lot of friends who are happy in their poly relationship. Some living in the same home, others who don’t. They do let me know that it takes time.

I’m not looking for a female who wants a threesome or an orgy. I’m looking for a woman who wants me, is open minded and understand that I can love more than one person at a time, and understand the meaning of a honest, Open and highly communicative relationship. Intimacy is important but understanding is better.

So I think I’m going to do just that. Date. Enjoy myself and make new friendships. Life is to sort to conform to unhappiness. So I’m making my own.

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