Back to Me

Well sort of. I still have a long way to go, but I am better than I was a few days ago. I have a weight lifted off of my heart and I can move forward and work on me. I can get up everyday and know that I, in the end, am the only person who can truly love me. We should never depend on someone else to love u, and there are those of us who do.

I got up this morning and did something I haven’t done in a couple weeks. My hair. I also decided to put on some makeup to get me back in the way I was years ago, when I was working as a makeup artist in California. I would get up in the morning, shower, do my hair, put on my makeup and then pick my outfit depending on the heels I wanted to wear that day. I no longer do that. I wear sweat pants and leggings, but none of my heels or dresses. It has been a rough time for me but hey, I got it known in my mind that I will move on and do better. I mean what else can we do but move forward.

My creativity seems to be coming back little by little. It only took me 20 minutes to do full makeup instead of 2 hours for my eyes. I am no longer fucking up meals in the kitchen, but moving effortlessly in my preparation and ideas. I am working on my projects a lot more, and getting back into school as I have a test due and haven’t really studied for it. I want to be more active in my photography school and find more subjects, but tending to deal with people is a headache. I am thinking about getting a puppy or a cat.

In a few months I will be with my family for a festival for the Samhain Sabbat. And I think I will be so happy, that my heart will over flow with joy.

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